Elements of Healing
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- Try to remember, try not to forget.
- Good memories (“I remember when…” stories) are important.
- Time can result in either healing or infection. Visiting and acknowledging your grief promotes healing.
- You may need support from both inside and outside your family.
- Faith – Beliefs – Explore them. Lean on them.
- Learning about the experience of others can give insight into your own story.
- Assume whatever you are going through is normal.
- Share the pain of your darkness.
- Be sensitive to the fact that people grieve differently. Don’t let them tell you how to grieve (or vice versa).
- Sharing with those who have been there may have a special meaning.
- Feel free to protest the “why” of death.
- Take time and space for yourself and work through your guilt over doing so.
- Take time to laugh and to cry.
- Take the initiative and make things happen for yourself, work, activity, exercise.
- Life will never be like it was. You will need to create a new life, make new choices, develop new friendships.
- Confront guilt by realizing you did the best you could (“All things considered, with no rehearsal for what you went through, you did the best you could”).
- You must eventually let go of the pain of losing your loved one.
- There is nothing wrong with talking to the dead.
- Persons who have been down the road before you can sometimes by symbols of hope.
- Your experience of death may be significant in other aspects of your life.
– Rev. Czillinger